Faith in Practice
On the edge of a goal
Now a football pundit and television presenter, GAVIN PEACOCK's career as a player spanned more than 20 years, retiring in 2002 from the team where he began, QPR.
When I was 18 my mum started going to church. Over time I saw a change in her, she seemed to become more at ease. I'd always thought I was a Christian too, believing in God and praying when I got into trouble, like a lot of people do. But she explained that being a Christian meant having a personal relationship with Jesus and giving him lordship in your life. I had never thought of Christianity being defined in terms of this personal relationship before, I believed in a distant God who had no reference, let alone priority, in my life.
I was always open with the other players about my faith. It wasn't as if I went into the changing rooms and bashed them over the heads with a Bible. I was with these guys ten months of the year, on the field, in the changing rooms, on the bus. We'd talk about what we did at the weekend and if asked I would say I was at church on Sunday. Of course I got a bit of ribbing for it, but then anything different would come in for a bit of stick - if you wore a new tie on a match day. When they saw I was sincere about my faith I think they began to respect that fact.
During the mid-90s I started a Bible study for footballers and their wives. It is a strange partnership being married to a footballer. My wife isn't really into football, but she would watch me play. It's hard for the wife or girlfriend of a footballer if the crowd are shouting abuse, or if your partner is injured. It's not like a regular job. An injury could mean never playing again, poor performance could mean a transfer or, worse, not having your contract renewed. I was very lucky not to have any major injuries during my career. However, I can't attribute that to my faith, more the fact I wouldn't throw myself into tackles; I'd jump out of the way!
In the 1994 FA Cup Final, when I was playing for Chelsea against Manchester United, I hit the crossbar in an attempt on goal in a match which ended with a 4-0 win for Man U. At the time it all happened in slow motion: the kick, the ball going over Schmeichel's head, the rebound off the crossbar. And the game continued.
In football you can go from hero to villain within three days, it lies on the edge of a goal or a miss. The game of football is satirical of life. It has such highs and lows and I guess the key to survival is being able to cope. I've been in both relegations and promotions. Relegation is a horrible feeling; when QPR went down in at the end of the 2000/01 season I was the captain and I felt a dreadful responsibility to the team. It was not always easy, but at those times I had to remember that God is above all things, it is him that I lean on. The centre of my life is God, so if I lost in football I had not lost everything. I think many players struggle because football is all they have.
When I retired, I had a chance to talk to the youth team players at QPR before I left. I wanted to remind them that they had the chance to do something for a living that people would be willing to do for nothing. There's a change in attitude among younger players now that wasn't there when I was starting out: that of wanting it before you've earned it. Some players strive for the material trappings and the celebrity status before they have earned it on the field.
Over the years I have had conversations with footballers who have been interested in my faith, some you would never expect in a month of Sundays to be interested. As far as I'm aware they're not Christians, but I hope a seed has been planted. I think we're all called to share the good news, but we all do it in different ways. Ultimately though, if the ship is going down and you know where the lifeboats are, you're going to tell people, right?
There is hope in the local church. It can be a place for moral and spiritual guidance, where relationships with families and neighbours are promoted. Our kids are growing up in an internet world that does not rely on human contact and so it becomes fragmented. I'd like to see the church become more sensitive to all ages. It is a challenge, but those churches that are growing are meeting this challenge: embracing new technology without discarding the important elements of tradition.
I was approached last year by the BBC's Football Focus to present a programme called Faith in Football. During the programme I interviewed various footballers who followed Christianity, Islam and Judaism. It was brave of Football Focus to move their parameters, and I felt those who were Christians seemed to stand out particularly as witnesses. A camerawoman who worked on the programme also worked on Songs of Praise, and suggested they approach me to present an episode.
Songs of Praise is a great British institution, like Match of the Day. It is trying to get a balance between the traditional and the modern, which you can see in the music played and the bands they use. However, they're also trying to make faith relevant to real life, showing people who are reaching out in so many ways to those around them.
It may seem strange to some people that I became a Christian. I came from a stable home that did not struggle financially, I was just starting on a promising career and drove a nice car. But I did not have that personal relationship with God.
There was no dramatic conversion, there were no fireworks or sudden insights, no road to Damascus experience. There was however a growing realisation that God is in my life. I feel a peace, knowing I am not just relying on my own strength. My life has a purpose now that it didn't have before.
Gavin Peacock was talking to Hannah Kowszun
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